sex.
a poem by sundayroastonline.
poem best experienced while listening to:
in this moment we grew older, our maturity synced for just a moment. you held me tight to you as i felt as much of you as i could wish to feel at once- there was once a person who believed the worst about himself; the things that life had taught him to feel. he hadn't left the safe, warm comforts of his head- he was taught not to one too many times.
in this moment we became one, naked as the day we were born- as vulnerable as i had ever been with someone. i kept my t shirt on in the pool, i had been taught to never fully be myself in front of anyone. sex was always something that i wanted- of course it was. what i hadn't known was how scary it would be, the vulnerability needed for it; sex was funny, sex was gross, sex was foreign. sex was never beautiful, sex was never kind, sex was never vulnerable- until it was.
in this moment we were in love. love was only ever a concept i'd read about, or watched films about, or heard songs about- it wasn't something i'd ever felt, no matter what i would've told you at the time. i never considered sex to be an act of love, an act of appreciation for a person- but when we had sex it felt as if we were doing eachother a favour, showing our vulnerabilities to eachother in an ultimate display of our love. i had no words at the time to describe what it felt like, or what it made me feel outside of just "good".
in this moment you saw me, really, really saw me. i know, now, that you were never really in love with me- and that sex, for you, was a very different act than what i saw it as at the time. but there is something in you showing me what i saw, the reality you allowed me to view even for a second; even if it was a facade, it helped me to see the real value of sex, above pleasure, above what we as humans can see- sex is what we give eachother, what we allow ourselves to receive.
sex is an expression of ourselves at our most vulnerable. sex is a million things to a million different people, sure; but, to me, sex is love- even when it's not.
-online.
listen to the playlist:
Beautiful sentiment well done